I have an unspoken rule. This rule says that I can only share something with you when I’ve fully processed it.
No trauma dumping. No soliciting for help in the middle of a crisis.
I love sharing my personal experiences and insights to help make your journey a little easier…and to make you feel not so alone.
But you’re here for organizing support, so I don’t want to add weight to your already full life by bringing you into challenges I’m still working through.
So, I generally keep things to myself (and my close community) until I’ve worked through them. But I think I have to break my own rule.
Because I’ve been dealing with something challenging for years. Something that has been eating away at me. I keep waiting for it to calm down or resolve, but it just won’t.
It’s affected almost every part of my life…even (and especially) the parts that you can’t see.
And I find myself withdrawing more and more. I’m not making videos. I’m not telling you about my life (which is totally fine, we’re all allowed privacy), but it’s time to finally admit to myself, and you, that I’m hiding. And the quieter I’ve gotten, the easier it has become to disappear.
For the last few years, I’ve been dealing with chronic migraines. Not one or two every now and then…but persistent, destabilizing migraines. They’ve gotten a lot worse in the last year or two. This spring, one migraine attack lasted two months. It was brutal.
With love…I don’t need (or want) any advice for healing. I’ve tried all the migraine hacks. I have an amazing care team, and we are (finally!) making good progress. The progress we’ve made is why I’m even able to share this with you.
I’m sharing this with you today because I’m always looking at the deeper cause of clutter. And dealing with chronic pain for the last few years makes me wonder how many people are struggling with clutter and executive functioning issues due to chronic pain or neurodiversity.
It’s easy to keep things organized when we feel good, and our bodies are strong, and our minds are clear. But what about when you’re in pain? Or your brain takes you on a new adventure every 45 seconds? Or when you’re medicating one of these conditions, and the medication causes you to not feel at home in your own body or mind?
These things are real. They affect our lives, our productivity, and our ability to stay organized.
How can you keep organized when you’re barely keeping your head above water?
I think it’s important to name the things that contribute to our chaos because it reminds us that there are often circumstances that lead to the chaos, which are out of our control. It’s also important to remember that there’s nothing wrong with us. That we are simply doing our best to survive a challenging situation.
I wish I had a magic wand to make your (and my) chronic pain and challenging conditions go away in 5 seconds or less. Sadly, I don’t.
I certainly haven’t figured this all out. I’m still learning every day, and finding ways to be patient and loving with myself and my body. But here are a few things I’ve learned that are helping me weather this challenging chapter:
1-Reach out to your community, even when you don’t want to
This morning I called a friend because I felt like I absolutely shouldn’t call someone. I felt too heavy and sad, and like I should only connect with her when I was feeling “better.” But the truth is that I needed support more now than I would when I was feeling better. That 20-minute call completely changed my day. There’s just something about knowing we’re not alone that can make a huge difference. If you don’t have someone to call, hit reply and share what’s happening with me. No one should have to hold everything alone.
2-Lower the bar
This is not a “normal” moment. I know you may want to get back to normal asap…and you may even need to (as a single, self-employed woman, I totally get that urgency). What is a “good enough” version of today? One that helps you make progress while also honoring where you are in this moment, and what your body/mind/soul needs.
3-Focus on today…not 2 years, months, or weeks from now
The present moment is really all we have. I generally love to plan and organize my future because it gives me a sense of control. Chronic pain has taken that away from me in many ways. So, instead, I focus on the now. In this moment, what do I need? Do I need support, help, comfort, community…a snack? What is this moment asking of me? And if I have some extra internal resources, I may ask myself…in this moment, what is going well? In this moment, what am I grateful for? The present is truly all we have, and coming home to ourselves in this present moment can sometimes be exactly the gift we need.
4-You are not your survival mode
Survival mode is a tool for finding your way through. It’s not who you are. When the pain and healing journey feel like they have become your whole identity, do one thing that reminds you who you are. For me, that’s watching a sunrise or sunset. I remember my true self again when I see the beauty of this world…plus I can make a sunset happen in almost any condition. I can look at pics of sunsets on my phone, watch Sunrise Earth (a gorgeous nature documentary 📺 focused on watching the sunrise 🌅 in various locations around the world), look out my window, walk to the beach, or even just imagine one in my mind. I can match my output to my energy, and still remember who I am.
5-Keep going
Whether you’re exhausted, discouraged, or simply wondering how much longer you can keep carrying this…keep going. You matter. Your presence here is important. I know things can feel like too much sometimes. But nothing stays the same forever. There will be a lighter moment soon. As that saying goes…you haven’t met everyone who will love you yet. There is still so much to do, feel, and experience. Stick around. This world is better because you’re in it.
Is there something in your life that’s quietly making it harder to stay organized?
If you do, please know you’re not alone. I know it can feel really overwhelming. For this moment, let’s just breathe in and know that we are standing together in this.
I hope that by opening up the conversation today, you feel a little less alone with whatever you’re holding right now.
Thanks for holding space for this conversation. And thanks for being here. I’m so grateful for you!
