Turn Down the Drama, Turn Up the Love

I fell in love in Tucson…during a global pandemic.

The irony is not lost on me.  I am an 8th+ generation Tucsonan but as long as I can remember, I’ve had the itch to travel.  I started spending extended time away from Tucson when I was 14.  I’ve pretty much been officially gone (except for a few touchdowns) since I graduated high school.  I always swore I would never live in Tucson again, that my free spirit needed to be on the move. 

And yet, when the pandemic hit, I found myself being drawn back to Tucson to be closer to family instead of digital nomading around the world.  Even more surprising was the moment I met a man who invited me to reconsider calling Tucson home.  

He shows me things I never knew existed. He swears he’ll make me fall in love with Tucson.  The way he sees my hometown, and the world at large, endears me to him more with each day.  

I’ve been fortunate to experience a lot of love and partnership in my life.  My adult life has been punctuation with passionate love affairs, powerful partnerships, and more than one lonely night.  

As I step into this new chapter, I’m feeling a deep gratitude for all the partners that came before now.  All the things they taught me. How they helped me know and love myself.  The things they helped me realize that I both did, and didn’t, want to experience. 

Partnership is so different from how it’s portrayed in Rom-Coms. 

In the Rom-Com, it’s all about finding the partnership, not making it last. And yet, most people want to be in a partnership for the partnership. The companionship.  The thing that comes after the meet-cute.  

No one makes that movie.  

True partnership is beautiful and complicated.  How rich and delicious it is to truly see another and let them be seen.  The ways another person can drive you crazy and also make you feel so inexplicably at home.  And the ways your life can be changed forever because someone stepped into your life one unexpected day.  

My parents were high school sweethearts.  Their entire adult lives have been spent learning how to craft a life together.  My life, on the other hand, has been like a long string of meet-cutes.  

I longed for a lifetime partnership but also accepted that the Universe had its own plans for me.  Plans that involved having my own business, traveling, and learning to love myself with (or without) a family.  

The benefit of having had so many partnerships is that I have a unique view of patterns in relationships.  I see the patterns that come up in partnerships as patterns, not personal defects.  There are certain challenges and complications that exist in all partnerships.  Unfortunately, because romance can make us feel so vulnerable, it’s easy to think that the challenge is a defect in the person or the relationship.  Instead of what it is…the dance of partnership.  

Over the years, my experience guided me to read several books that help me experience relationships with love and positivity.  These books are my guides in having a drama-free relationship with my partners.  And I use these tools every single day with my organizing clients.  

If we have unspoken truths in our heart, we often use our stuff to speak for us.  

When you start to date me, you pretty much get a reading list ASAP.  Too much?  Maybe.  But I don’t want to waste any time on superficial drama that isn’t going to help us be our best selves or enjoy the experience of loving each other.  

Life’s too short for drama.  

With love on my mind, I thought it would be helpful to share these books with you too.  Some of them may be old hat in your world.  Others will blow your socks off. 

Click HERE to grab my free guide Books for Decluttering Relationship Drama…and Welcoming in Love & Communication.  

These books are my secret for turning down the drama and turning up the love.  I hope they help you too.  If they do, comment below and let me know which one really vibes with you.