Believe it or not, clutter is not the villain we often make it out to be. Clutter can actually be a useful tool in helping you uncover the deep rooted emotional baggage you’ve been carrying around for some time. Clutter speaks–we just don’t necessarily want to hear (or maybe we’re not yet ready to hear) what it has to say. Because when you listen, I mean really listen to what your clutter has to say to you, it means that you must confront the often gut wrenching feelings tied to your clutter. It’s so hard, but so worth the reward that waits on the other side of your stuff–I promise.
Now, I’d like to invite you to look at 5 questions you can ask yourself that will help clarify what your clutter is saying to you. They’re simple, but not easy. So take a deep breath, and let’s bravely tackle them one at a time.
Clutter Clarity Question 1–WHO’s my who?
Who you share space with is hugely important. You are mixing energy here and whether you see it or not, there is silent, non-verbal communication happening all the time. The kitchen is the command center of the home. It is the foundation of communication with your innermost tribe.
You all may sleep separately and use different bathrooms or cars, but you all come here for food (i.e., literal and metaphorical nourishment). So the question to ask yourself is, who do I share space with in this area? How do you feel about this person or persons? Be real. Don’t sugarcoat it. You can love your husband and also want to banish him to a desert island to live forever without you because of the way he slurps down his morning Starbucks. Both can exist at the same time. And the sooner you are able to hold space for the duality, the faster you can be honest with yourself and see what’s really going on. So go ahead and write that down on your paper too. Who do you share space with here and how do you really feel about them? Both in this moment and long term.
Clutter Clarity Question 2–WHAT kind of clutter do I have?
Now we’re onto the next phase of hearing your clutter. So let’s talk to the clutter itself. Take a moment and look around your space. What is there? No need to do an inventory, just a basic overview. What are the general categories of your clutter? For example, paperwork, unused kitchen appliances, clothing, etc.
Clutter Clarity Question 3–WHY is this clutter here?
Now that you know what type of clutter you’re working with, I want you to explore why it is there. No reason is too small. Let yourself fully explain the situation. Do you have a counter full of mail because it’s just not fun to go through? Or because you’re too “lazy?” Or maybe it stresses you out to no end to open bills you don’t want or can’t pay. What is really going on here? Name it. Write it down. Why is it here?
Clutter Clarity Question 4–HOW do I feel about this clutter? How do I feel about myself?
Let’s get to the good stuff. How do you feel about the clutter that’s sitting here? More importantly, how do you feel about yourself because this clutter is sitting here? Be brave, be real and own it. Do you feel shame? Do you feel exhausted? Do you feel terrified? Do you feel bored? Or anxious? Or nervous? What is your real deal about this stuff. What do you think it means about you?
This is the gold. Because from this space, we can start to see what’s really going on. I’m not talking about the story, that is, the details of your life that led you to this moment, or who has victimized you and caused this. What are the words for the feelings you have in your gut anytime you see your clutter? That’s what we’re looking for here.
I specialize in helping people clear their clutter and organize their lives. But even I have strong emotional ties to my things. When I look at my box of shame, for example, the feeling in my gut is guilt. When I see that box I feel like the biggest monster in the world. I feel guilty and dangerous. That is what’s real for me. What is real for you? We can’t get past our clutter if we can’t name it. Take a minute now and write down what it is that you feel about yourself because this clutter exists.
Clutter Clarity Question 5–HOW is my clutter helping me?
Armed with this treasure trove of information, you are ready to tackle the most important question yet–the game changer. How is your clutter helping you? That feeling we just talked about is helping you. I know it sounds crazy. I mean, how can shame help you? But it does. Your shame or fear or guilt are acting as tools in service to your highest good and greatest safety.
Let’s say you do feel shame in this space. Shame that you don’t have it more together, or shame that there’s something wrong with you. Dig into that feeling. How is that shame helping you? Does the shame motivate you to be more effective? The clutter is acting in service to the shame, and the shame is acting in service to you. It’s not a villain, it’s a helper. At one point in time something happened that made you get stuck in that feeling.
How is your clutter helping you achieve that feeling? And how does that serve you in some deeper way? Take a few minutes to write this down. Take a walk first if you need to. I’m asking you to wrap your head around some pretty intense concepts that your emotional body may want to reject. But there really is gold here, and you deserve to get to the end of this rainbow.
Whew, we made it. Or rather, you made it through the muck that your clutter has created over the weeks, months or even years that it’s been piling up around you. It’s a freeing feeling to uncover and begin to heal the emotional wounds connected to our stuff. Bravo!
Remember, you’re not alone in your journey toward a clutter free life. You have a partner in me.
Book a complimentary virtual session right now and let’s get some clarity around your clutter. You can do this.